I spent over twenty four sleepless hours trying to describe the emotional effect this song has on me. The song is eerie and haunting. So of course, I wanted to write a blog that seemed fitting. I thought it would be simple because I feel a connection to the song. However, it's been very difficult. Emotionally, I'm drained. The song has deeper meaning than I previously thought.
I was certain that I felt sadness when I listened to this song, but I was wrong. Truth is, I'm wrong about how I feel most of the time. The song makes me remember home. Growing up, the small town always felt like an ideal place to live. I used to imagine living there forever. To me, it was a place where nothing bad ever happened. I felt safe. Boy, was I naive.
So much misery exists in the town that it's hard to feel true happiness. I've come to realize that miserable people will only make other feel the same. I used to think something was wrong with me. I couldn't understand why others were constantly hurting me. It's taken some time and plenty of mistakes to finally realize that it's not me. It's them. I needed to get away and I did. For that, I'm proud.
Listening to "Mad World," I feel a huge sense of relief. I'm not in that dark place anymore. It reminds me that I have more strength than I give myself credit for. I don't live in that world anymore, and I don't surround myself with miserable people. Although I've felt the feelings described in the song, I don't anymore.
I'm not dying in my dreams. I'm living.
